The Frozen Oatmeal Cookie Redemption

It's a Fruit Spread! Get it?? Like a jam!??

Hi, Reader.  Have you ever had a bad day?  You know, just kinda gloomy?  You meant to do a billion things and all you could do was sit and just sort of be still and weird and take up space?  I guess yesterday I had a little bit of a day like that.  Of course, it didn’t start out that way.  Yesterday started with sunshine and the smell of spring, and it was a farmers market day, too!

You should be jealous...

I got cherries!  And strawberries!  And some page mandarins because Ryan and I have decided we love them.  So, post-market, the day turned into a blah.  The core of my body, well, the small of my back, I guess?, was killing me yesterday morning and so I promised to take a day off from exercise.  Which sucked, because I really needed to blow off a little bit of steam.  Lucky for me, I figured out another way to relax.  Which is to make chicken soft tacos in some whatever attempt at Cinco de Mayo that wouldn’t cost me more than five dollars plus what’s already in the fridge.  For the record, when food is all brown and yellow and you’re rushing, tacos and rice and refried beans don’t photograph well AT ALL and absolutely look like poop.  Worst picture ever, sorry folks.

"I don't understand," whined the soft tacos. "How come all of the pictures Lauren takes of her fruits and vegetables come out glossy and charming and inviting, but when she photographs us tacos, we come out looking like petrified moose droppings?"

But none of this really matters.  Because the point of this story is to tell you about how the botched oatmeal raisin cookies I made last Friday totally came through for me last night like Andre Ethier comes through for LA in the 9th inning of a tied game with two outs at Dodger Stadium.

Remains of Chrissy's birthday cake, in my pretty ghetto earthquake-kit-cake-carrying-invention. Mommy, please don't be angry.

So, post-bake last National Oatmeal Cookie Day, I wrapped three of the cookies tightly in aluminum foil after they cooled and put them in a plastic baggie and threw them in the freezer for “another day”.  And promptly moved on with my life.  Now, last night, I had dessert.  I had a good helping of ginger snaps plus lots of cherries and strawberries.  This was around eleven.  Then I went to bed.  I even fell asleep for a little bit.  For whatever reason, I decided to stop trying to stay asleep and instead get up and innocently “maybe watch some TV and have a cup of tea until I’m sleepy”, which we all know really means I could stay in bed and try to fall asleep but you know what, I’m going to get up, and I’m going to raid the pantry/fridge/freezer/trash/earthquake kit my mom doesn’t realize I just use as a place to store cans of tuna, not as a reserve of non-perishables for an emergency situation. (Oh, and actually, the earthquake kit was that big Ziploc box I hacked away at and used to transport Chrissy’s birthday cake in, so the earthquake kit is actually now a shelf with some canned pineapple on it.)

Anyway, here’s how it went down.  I got out of bed.  I turned on a pretty lamp for some ambient light.  Remember that I am totally full and satisfied.  But I had one ginger snap anyway, you know, for fun…  Then I made some tea.  Had some strawberries.  Some cherries.  Kept sipping the tea, which was really hot.  It made me hot.  Uncomfortably so.  And then the little voice inside my head that only comes out after midnight said to me, Hey, Lauren, you know what will cool you down?  Some frozen over-baked oatmeal raisin cookies! Well, I listened to the voice.  I had one.  And you know what, the voice was right!  The frozen cookie cooled me down.  And it was delightful!  That dryness and over-baked-ness that sullied the cookies’ glory last week had somehow been erased by the freeze.  Instead, the cookie took on a delightfully chilled thickness, like a frozen Snickers bar or an icy granola bar but way more awesome because there was a lot of butter involved!  Point is, the cookie was awesome.  And I was again satisfied.  I thought, what a treat.  And knew it was time for bed.  But I bet you can guess what happens next…  Ten minutes later, I thought, hey, I’ll have another.  And then, another.  And then I started to feel really full.  And maybe even a little guilty.  But mostly, I just felt buttery.  And I went to bed.

This is my freezer. Can you spot the hastily frozen oatmeal raisin cookies? I don't have a picture of the properly frozen, foil-wrapped ones, because I ate them all in my sleep last night. Sorry.

Now, two cookies remain, although these were not flash-frozen properly in aluminum foil.  They were in my pantry and I threw them in the freezer in a moment of rage because that’s how I operate.  So they probably won’t taste as wonderful.  Which is most likely for the better, because I might need to throw them out.  I feel like all I’ve been eating for the past few days is sugar and flour, either in a healthy way (fruit and whole grains) or in a fun way (um, frozen cookies, ginger snaps)… and I’m pretty sluggish and icky as a result.  So I’m thinking I should probably go for a run and work up a really healthy, balanced appetite and then try to feed myself a real lunch to get back on track.  Or I could make a puree of ginger snaps and unsalted butter and spread it on a plain, stale bagel in an effort to save money.  Hmmm.

So, readers, what’s your go-to midnight snack?  What do you scarf down when you “can’t sleep”?  Leave a comment!  Let me know!

POSTSCRIPT:  Earlier today, in this very post, I wrote the following:  “the botched oatmeal raisin cookies I made last Friday totally came through for me last night like Andre Ethier comes through for LA in the 9th inning of a tied game with two outs at Dodger Stadium.”  Now, folks, did anybody catch tonight’s game against the Brewers?  Oh, because it was the ninth inning, and a 3-3 tie, when Andre Ethier came up to the plate with the bases loaded… and hit a WALK OFF GRAND SLAM.

7 Responses to “The Frozen Oatmeal Cookie Redemption”
  1. Monet says:

    I was becoming a serial midnight snacker…and honey bunches of oats were my go-to indulgence. I normally try to steer clear from processed and sugary cereal, but how can you say no to those delicious little clusters of oats! Yum! But I’ve been trying to stop…and for the past four nights, I’ve been successful! Yeah!

  2. Mo says:

    I almost always freeze my cookies. Especially if they don’t turn out how I wanted to. Frozen cookies make life better. 🙂 Your freezer is shockingly bare, by the way. Mine’s STUFFED.

    • Lauren says:

      Hey Mo!

      So, my freezer is shockingly bare because my parents took my boyfriend and me to Costco in February… and it’s May. And I’m also totally crazy and hate wasting food…

      I’m really good at thinking of ways to work with floppy celery.

  3. Emily says:

    Hi Lauren,

    I could not stop smiling when I read the caption under the photo of soft taco. I hear you soft taco, I completely know how you feel, lol. I have the same problem with some of my stir-frys.
    My go-to midnight snack is definitely chocolate. I know it’s a bit of a cliche but it’s the one of those things that I can hide under my pillow without anyone noticing 😀
    Love your posts, they are fun to read!

  4. Most desserts taste good, if not better, frozen.

    And Lauren’s Mom! The trick to the LA earthquake kit is not a bag of goodies that take up space in an apartment. The trick is merely making sure you have a 1-2 week stock of bottled water and canned food/non-perishables in your cabinet at all times, as well as a first aid kit and some batteries + flashlights. If she promises not to let things dwindle down too low, she’ll be fine!

  5. jenna says:

    gummies in my sleep. i like the create-a-bug ones or the 99 cent bags from target. regardless, its always gummies. i wish i could eat buttery oat meal raisin cookies.

  6. Mom says:

    I really think I need to come to Santa Monica and redo the whole earthquake kit! Perhaps I will bring the cellophane roll of shrink wrap the movers left here to seal the box. As for the lack of photogenic qualities of the refried beans, you might find the answer in the first installment of my upcoming blog which will feature the joys of Fiesta Ware.

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